I had my big cousin B over for Sunday dinner this past weekend. We both were functioning on very little sleep. For me, it was the day after a going away party for a friend. For her, it was the day of the annual Bacci Sale (imagine lining up at 4:00 a.m. for a sale on clothing and housewares).
I decided to make this Carrot Cumin Tart from the Williams-Sonoma Cookbook. It had potential to be a weird carroty pie. It wasn’t. Instead it was the perfect combination of cheese, egg, carrot and spice, in a perfect tart formation.
As we sat around chatting and cooking in my tiny kitchen the subject of our living conditions came up. I had been browsing Craigslist for the last little while in hopes of coming across the perfect one bedroom apartment. Funny, I never found it. However, B had come across the most gorgeous house. Newly renovated. High ceilings. Fresh white paint. Front loading washer and dryer. And the kitchen. I can’t even begin to describe the beauty of the kitchen. And with that, we were off on a dream of living in this house together.
The next day was when I really started thinking about it. There are times when I’m unhappy in my current place. It has a horribly ugly, brown bathroom. And a horribly ugly, brown kitchen. The floor squeaks. The walls are thin. It’s messy and disorganized. But I started to notice all the things I do in a day that wouldn’t be acceptable as a roommate. The amount of noise I make in the morning. The dishes I leave in the sink. The coffee cup that gets left in the bathroom after I’ve done my make up. The ultimate cleats left out to dry by the door. The books piled up everywhere.
I realized how much I love living on my own. And how much I’ve appreciated it since moving out from living with S. Sure he complained about living with me, and his complaints were most likely unreasonable and a sign of other problems between us. But part of me getting back on my feet and figuring myself out, has been aided by me living on my own.
Despite the thought of creating that Carrot Cumin Tart in the most beautiful kitchen I’ve seen, I feel like I need to continue on the path that I’m on. Adding in moving, a longer commute, and adjustment to roommates is not going to make this journey any smoother. It’s time to calm down and focus on what I’ve already got. My time will come for the huge, amazing kitchen.
Until then, I’m calling in the troops. Mom will be coming for a visit soon. We’ll paint my place and get organized. Can’t wait! Maybe I’ll make the Carrot Cumin Tart when she’s here and it will become the Tart That Helped Me Get Organized And Settled.