For the past two days I have been ridiculously and uncharacteristically positive. I’m not sure what has happened or what to do about it. I’ve been fairly stressed at work for the past few weeks and then last week I was somewhat sick. I pushed through it, not really noticing just how sick I was. I left work early on Friday, went to the doctor and eventually to my couch. I canceled all my weekend plans and hibernated for the weekend. By the time Monday rolled around I felt like a new person. I was healthy again…and happy. What that…?
I’ve spent the last half hour with a friend going over the things that have changed. I need to figure out what has happened so I can get myself out of future funks. Was it the weekend of being at home by myself watching TV, reading, knitting, eventually doing some baking and cleaning? Maybe. Was it that I got some positive feedback on something that I’ve been worrying about and dreading at work? Or could it be the evening of flamenco and dreaming with fellow dancers about going to Spain and taking classes that I had on Monday? Was it the after work run and yoga that I did this afternoon? All possibilities but I don’t feel that any one of these could result in such a shift in mindset.
Wait! I’ve got it!!
I’ve traded in my bus pass for a parking pass. I realize it’s not a very green decision, but I had to do it. Last week I realized that I arrive at the office every morning angry. I hate taking the bus. It’s crowded, smelly, and all the people annoy me. I become this horrible, negative, angry bus-riding version of myself for a half hour each way in the morning and afternoon. As the weather turns, standing at the bus stop, juggling an umbrella, extra shoes so I can change out of rain boots, my lunch bag and purse adds to the stress of taking the bus. How much is leaving all of this behind worth? Well, turns out, in my mind, it’s worth is the exact amount of a parking pass.
I can’t believe this didn’t occur to me earlier when I was compiling my list of things that have changed. I’m pretty sure this is what did it!! My plan is to drive to work until May. It’s the busiest time of year when the buses are crowded and the weather is at its worst. For the summer I’ll switch back to the bus. It’s much more bearable then. I always imagine that I’ll ride my bike to work in the summer too, but let’s face it, if it hasn’t happened once in the two years that I’ve lived in my place, chances are it’s not going to happen. Never say never, but I’m not holding my breath. And until then, I’m not going to have to hold my breath on that stinky bus anymore either!!